If Only
by creamychocpudding786
Summary: Something happened in the past that caused Puck to be a part of the Scarlet Hand, but he can't remember. He loves Sabrina, and finds a way to quit. There is this secret program for people who quit the Scarlet Hand, it protects their identities. He joins that, and changes his appearance so no one recognizes him. He tries to find Sabrina and win her heart back, as well as her trust.
1. Prologue

I can't deal with it anymore. I can barely remember how I even got stuck in this situation.

From the moment I was 13 years old, I felt something with Sabrina. I couldn't name it then, but now I can. I felt some sort of a connection, like a pull. Whenever I was around her, I felt happy, carefree. I had thought it was some affect from that damn puberty virus, but it wasn't. I was clueless then, at that young age of 13, but now, I'm 17 years old, and I can name what that thing was, and I'm not afraid to. It was love. That maddening, crazy thing that makes you lose all your worries in an instant. The thing that you can't live without, and what keeps you going. Love. The one thing that I, Puck, was afraid of as a child. But I'm not anymore. Because I love Sabrina Grimm. But she won't ever know or care.

And it's not because of anything I even remember doing. I can't remember a thing from the last 2 years of my life, but all the crazy things that happened then, now come back and punch me in the face. Something happened in the past, something horrible. Something- something, that is the reason that I'm now a part of the Scarlet Hand. But  
I don't remember doing anything. And I'm sick of it.


	2. Chapter 1: The Change

Chapter 1:

"Hello?" My voice echoes through the silence of the office. I don't know what I'm getting myself into. But I have to do this. I don't want to live this way, hiding from everyone, trying to figure out my past.

I walk down the long, dark corridor, there doors on both sides. It kind of reminds me of the Hall of Wonders, but I don't know what is lurking behind the doors this time. Behind each door is an office. I'm looking for Door #56: The Witness Protection Program office.

I scan the door numbers, 53, 54, 55, 56! I've found it at last. With my heart pounding in my chest, I slowly turn the door knob and close the door behind me. There is a cherry wood colored desk, and two wooden chairs. A woman with a severe bun on the back of her head, and glasses perched on the end of her nose looks up at me.

"Yes?"

"I…Hello."

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, yes you can. I'm here to join the Witness Protection Program." I gain confidence and my voice sounds more sure of myself.

"Alright please have a seat."

I take a seat on one of the wooden chairs. The wood is hard and stiff. Damn!...My butt really hurts. They really need new furniture.

"What is your name?" the woman's voice breaks through my thoughts.

"Puck, Puck Goodfellow"

"Prior to today you were in alliance with the group that calls themselves the Scarlet Hand I presume. Is this information correct?"

"Yes" The knot of guilt in my stomach gets bigger.

"And you would like to change all of this information about yourself? Erase who you are?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"I…" I think about everything. The Jabberwocky, the night on the trampoline. Do I really want to get rid of all of that? The memories will still be here, but…"Yes"

"Alright. Please go through the green door on the left"

All the pressure that was on my shoulders vanishes. All of my past, who I was, it doesn't really matter anymore, does it? I'm free. I'm a new person now. I push open the door. Inside is a chair similar to the ones in the dentists office. There are beauty products scattered all around.

"Are you ready?" A voice says from behind me. I turn around. There is a middle aged man. He has tan skin, dark hair, and a calming smile. I nod.

"Take a seat on the chair and relax please."

I sit on the chair. The man presses a button on the chair, and it leans back.

"Because this process is very tedious and long, and may be painful sometimes, I will give you some medicine to knock you out for a few hours, that way it will be easier for both of us."

I feel very uneasy, what if he does something? I don't quite trust him. But, it's probably for the best, so I nod my head, sighing in defeat.

"Here. Drink this."

I drink the whole thing in one sip, and within minutes, my eyes start getting heavier, and it's difficult to keep them open. They finally close, blocking the man from my view.

! Later !

"What do you think?"

I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror. I'm dumbfounded. My golden-blonde hair is gone. I have brown hair, it's a light chestnut brown shade. My green eyes are now a dark, emerald green. I look like a mixture of a Hollister model, Taylor Lautner and Tom Cruise, if that makes any sense. I look kind of Spanish. But some of my features are still there, my smile, and that sparkle in my eyes. Even thought my face shape is different and so are some of my features, I'm still me under it all.

"It's not bad. It'll take some getting used to, but it's a good disguise." I'm surprised. My voice sounds a little different too. A bit lower and sexier. That's one change I like.

"Excuse me, do you have a bathroom anywhere?" I asked. I really had to pee. Like _really _bad. I hadn't gone in over 7 hours. That's crazy.

"Yes, down the hallway, first door on the right."

"Thanks"

I speed walk down the hallway, trying to find it as soon as possible. I see the signature "Men" sign, with the little man on it. I open the door, and head straight for the toilet. I pull down my pants and let it all go. (AN: Too graphic?) I notice something different. My "thing" doesn't feel the same. It's a little bigger. Holy shit! That man saw my…..Oh my gosh. He didn't need to go as far as changing my *blank* size. That is overkill, man.

I wash my hands, and head back down the hallway, to the office with the woman. I open the door nervously.

"I just finished with the process for my appearance…."

"Ok, have a seat. These are your new files. They contain personal information, such as your family, social security number, name, address, job, history, and other things you will need to know before you leave."

"Thanks.'

"Your new name is Justin Lane."

"Ok."

I exit the office, feeling refreshed and ready to begin my new life.

**Anywayyys, that was the end of chapter one. Sorry that it's so short and stuff. Please read and review, and I'm not sure if I should continue it, it'll be a lot of work. I'm probably just going to leave this up for now, and continue writing when I get the chance, probably on weekends and Spring Break. Thanks guys, bye! 3**


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